please be critical, and comment on style and how unique it is. also give it a grade out of 10. thanks
So you universities are probably raising doubt whether this will be the personal statement convincing you to give me a place for Political Science, Economics or Journalism. It may seem natural to anticipate that demand by you is much higher than the capacity. Well, how many of those prospective students walk that extra mile to reach to their ambitions? Well quite frankly I can’t answer for anyone but myself, this has certainly been the case in my efforts to derive into a news reporter.
Ever since I was 10 years of age, I decided. I was to become a reporter. “Its just a phase young girl, you shall change your ambitions, why not medicine, engineering? This cliché belief that if Indians don’t study Medicine, Engineering or Finance at the very least are useless, make my ears ache. I then opted for Journalism as it’s different from the 9—5 job experiencing a challenge everyday, such as: adventure; reporting in dangerous zones; excellent communication skills which blended brilliantly with my personality and love for social sciences. I then was up to date with current affairs to broaden my horizons. I began to express particular interest for Politics and Economics. I technically have three paths. Either studying social sciences first, journalism first, or journalism then social sciences. To fulfill my ambitions, it’s good that I chose appropriate subjects in IB, higher level: English A1; History, Economics, standard level Maths Studies, Biology and German. The most pleasant outcome appears to be my improved command of English.
What captures my interest in Politics is, how peacemaking works especially after post world war one, where several diplomatic relations ceased to exist. The population cannot agree to one political decision, therefore the real interesting point arising is how Governments can make a decision, satisfying the majority. Several decisions have not benefited the country. Following 9/11, the aim of America was to end to Islamic terrorist activities. However, Taliban threat is further established today, with drug operations occurring more. Politics will not only give me great analytical skills, it will make me a globally aware person. To gain knowledge on political affairs I got selected for the “VIS Debate Team” a debate where we debate political affairs, attending international debates, such as World School Debating Championships in Slovakia. This inhibited my stage fear, and improved oral/leadership skills. My Extended Essay challenged the belief that Hitler’s Control and organization of the State was outstanding. This gained me the importance of propaganda and political power
principles of politics, and portrays outstanding research skills for Journalism. It surprised me what a gamble politics is. Indoctrination is often involved.
It’s universally acknowledged that we are surrounded by Economics. Studying Economics at IB, improved my horizons on finances, profits, markets, abstract concepts that scared me reading them on headlines. We are still in Recession, give the credit to the US. Economics will give me analytical skills, especially market figures and data. Having such skills in Journalism is brilliant, as being a reporter is no child’s play. Personally, my stance us such that Microeconomics is more interesting, due to the graphs, and how the behaviour of one firm can affect the behaviour of another, especially in oligopolistic competion. I went on a charity trip to Romania to see if is really is poor, even though it is, the job satisfaction and overall optimism was absurdly higher than in richer countries. Economics motivates me for answers.
The skills to be gained from Undergraduate Journalism is endless, social disciplines, Journalism ethics, television production, my interest. All my Journalism courses have valuable work experience. It doesn’t matter knowing I’m better than everybody. Without contacts and work experience, Journalism is full of hurdles. Journalism will provide confidence and writing skills. I don’t wait for my degree to gain experience. In 2009, I spent half a week at the Associated Press (AP) in Vienna. I learned to select news stories, programmes used for news, the overall system, and the interaction of the local and International Desk. After gaining esteem, I became an online article contributor. To be followed by interning at NDTV, India’s best English-speaking news channel. This enabled me to gain scriptwriting, and shorthand skills as well as observing the daily rat-race among the newsroom. Only having academic qualifications is having no life, therefore I remain socially/physically active.
Having Indian parents, but living in Austria has often feared me that I may lose my cultural identity. Therefore, I have learned Indian Classical Dance, “Baratanatyam” since six years, which is a reli10 points, how good is this personal statement?I was interested to read your statement, there were a few minor errors, nothing disastrous, and probably ones you'd see yourself on re checking.
And besides you're already better qualified than me in your field of expertise.
However there is one crucial element I would suggest, especially for reporting, or for Yahoo answers, that is to use shorter paragraphs.
Not only is it easier for readers to follow the text, and not get lost if they glance away.
it is also uninviting to the reader.
They can't see, for example, a phrase that might grab their attention.
But just see a block of rather intimidating, undifferentiated text.
Unfortunately this is increasingly a world of sound bites, and ten second attention spans.
This may be sad, and has certainly contributed to people becoming dumbed down, but unless you're writing for an academic or highbrow audience, it is necessary to conform.
Try looking at an article you enjoyed reading, and see how that is structured.
Maybe you'd be interested in this article about journalism, I think the writer is excellent. he has an outstanding CV, and the subject, I think, would interest you.
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info…10 points, how good is this personal statement?%26quot;Ever since I was 10 years of age, I decided%26quot; Change to I had decided or I was decided or had been.
“It's just a phase young girl, you shall change your ambitions; why not medicine, engineering?%26quot; Close the quotes.Apostrophe to it's. Comma splice--change to semicolon.
%26quot;This cliche beliefe make my ears ache.%26quot; Change make to made or makes.
There's some more grammatical mistakes that do interfere a little bit with the reading, but it's easier to have someone proofread in person than over the computer.....It gets cut off, and the second to last paragraph is a little awkward. It needs some more work. You have good ideas, but you need to improve some more on organization. It's seems like it's still a work in progress, so overall I'd give it a 6.
Mine plz?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…10 points, how good is this personal statement?A university entrance evaluator would take one look at this and put it aside immediately. Much too long. Just imagine 2000 potential students writing personal statements this long. They don't want your opinions on careers, history lessons, comments on daily living, cultural bias and I could go on. Consult a professional writer for assistance.
You wanted critical. On a scale of 1-10 %26gt; 2. It is not unique, but rambling and dis-associative.
While I admire your attempt to relate your experiences etc. it is much too long and drawn out. If you want to be a journalist, you're going to have to do much better than this. I am being critical because you asked and am not trying to be mean or discouraging.
