If you're writing a formal english paper that does not use personal pronouns, but it is supposed to be a persuasisve essay and this is the checklist you are given:
Personally, what does freedom mean to you
What personal freedom do you want
Why do you want/need this personal freedom
Why do you deserve to be granted this freedom
How would this freedom change your life
How would you get around the no personal pronoun rule. I've got my opening paragraph, but the body is a little difficult. The freedom I chose is the freedom of choosing. Like instead of having to go with the majority.
Here's what I have so far to give you an idea what its about so you can understand why its getting a little difficult not to use personal pronouns.(feel free to skip, though if you could proofread it that would be phenomenal):
Freedom is being free to do whatever is pleasing and choosing things by one鈥檚 will, not what is accepted as correct. Granted, boundaries are easily overstepped rendering rules and guidelines necessary, but restrictions are just as easily overlooked by the opposing party. For instance, when there is a choice between multiple things, such as choosing between kickball and dodge ball in gym class, often the teacher chooses the activity based on a majority. The problem with a majority vote is that often nearly half of the voters have to adapt to the more popular option. Just because ten people would rather play kickball, does that mean nine people should have to strike out on a regular basis? If multiple selections are offered one should be able to choose which they prefer and receive it disregarding everyone else.
P.s. i'm in 11th grade, so if you could tell me what is needed to make it sound more professional that would be great.
Sorry this is so long. thank you so much for the helpFormal English paper?It is no so much getting around the rule about personal pronouns as it is where your focus is. For example, read these two sentences.
I think (or feel or believe) that groundhogs are wonderful animals.
Groundhogs are wonderful animals.
If these sentences were photos, the first photo would have the photographer in the picture! The second one would just be a picture of the groundhog. It's a weird metaphor but I hope it helps.
Also, persuasion always convinces the reader or listener by showing through your examples how what you believe is better than what someone else. You do this by showing how your idea is needed, wanted, or will work better than the other sides. And (or) showing how what they think is unneeded, unwanted, or won't work.
Finally, your introduction needs a thesis statement. I have included an example below an introduction that works. It's about community theater but if can think in terms of your topic, it will help. With the movies and TV, community theater has a lot of competition. And, with the existence of so many different groups of people, community theater doesn't even know who will want to come to a play.
So, the first thing you should do is come up with a thesis statement. Of course, it is easier said than done. If you will permit the thesis to do so, it will take on a life of its own because as you work to prove your point of view, you will see evidence that supports other views. That's great because it will make your paper more thoughtful. The wording of your thesis will then need to be adjusted.
Performing arts management has been making significant strides in the battle to win audiences and maintain theatre as culturally relevant to local communities.
Pick any significant word in the thesis. Then, make up a generalization about it by choosing a word or phrase from your thesis. This is phase one of the process of building the introductory paragraph.
Now, for instance, I鈥檒l choose cultural relevancy.
My Generalization statement is:
Cultural relevancy in the arts is an ever increasing problem in the twenty first century where nations are no longer a single people but are made up of many fragments of other cultures.
This is the first sentence of the introduction.
The second phase is to build a bridge between your generalization and thesis. This sometimes takes several sentences to make a paragraph that flows.
Building the bridge: (It is sort of shooting the bull鈥攖urning out the baloney.)
No where is this more true than in the theater of today.
The third step is to place your thesis as the last sentence of your introduction. It may be actually the fourth or fifth sentence depending on the size of your bridge.
I feel I need another bridge sentence:
Our local theatres are cases in point.
Finally, you end with a thesis statement:
Performing arts management has been making significant strides in the battle to win audiences and maintain theatre as culturally relevant to local communities.
The thesis must ARGUE and be a bit testy. It should make a statement of your belief on the issue based on what you have read, studied, and thought about. The process would give you an introduction that looks like this:
Performing arts management has been making significant strides in the battle to win audiences and maintain theatre as culturally relevant to local communities. No where is this more true than in the theater of today. Our local theatres are cases in point. Performing arts management has been making significant strides in the battle to win audiences and maintain theatre as culturally relevant to local communities.
