My second-mother - a teacher I am extremely close to - told me that I should not let a grade impair my view of my work and of myself. This is particularly important for me as I am a neurotic perfectionist, whereby the value of my productivity defines my value, in this situation school grades.
For example, I get an 89% on an English essay. Prior to receiving the mark, I thought that my essay was a very well written essay, and I was proud of myself for it. After receiving the mark, I feel that I write essays poorly and that I am a failure who is of no value. I base this conclusion on my mentality that someone, somewhere could do better than me, thereby making me of less value than them - I am only as good as my marks.
How can I possibly accept an 89% on an essay and not think less of myself? It isn%26#039;t that good of a mark. Should I not be able to get 100%?|||First of all - no one is perfect. You have to give yourself some room to grow - we can%26#039;t all get something right the first time around.
I was, in honesty, the exact same way. The first time I ever got a C on anything I spent the day in the girls bathroom bawling my eyes out because I felt like a failure (high school).
While grades are important, *they do not define who you are*. It%26#039;s hard to explain it, so let me relay a situation I recently had -
I was so close to graduating with distinction from my undergraduate university. I needed one more A on my semester to get it - during my student teaching semester. Instead, my professor gave me a C despite the fact that I thought, personally, I had progressed immensely since the beginning of the semester. I ended my undergrad career .05 away from graduating with honors. As a future teacher, I was so humiliated that I couldn%26#039;t manage even a B, when this was supposed to be the career I chose.
I withdrew my job applications and denied any offers. Finally, my mother convinced me to accept an application by saying this to me:
%26quot;Since you were a child, grades have always been important to you. But now, while grades are important, you have more than just grades to hang your hat on - the experience, the knowledge, and the passion. You have never been one to let one single label define who you are, and you%26#039;re not the girl I knew if you let it happen now.%26quot;
So, I accepted the job - and I don%26#039;t regret it. I love my students like my own children and I pour my heart out for them every day - to think I wouldn%26#039;t have had this experience because I let one label define me, I would have never had this experience....well, I don%26#039;t want to think about that %26quot;what if.%26quot;
Right now, I would say you%26#039;re probably young enough that your grades are all you have to show of yourself - no other work or efforts have come close to your academics. That%26#039;s how you%26#039;ve learned to define yourself because that%26#039;s all you have.
However, grades are just that - grades. They don%26#039;t show if you%26#039;ve progressed since the start and what you had to go through to get there.
You%26#039;re also comparing yourself to other people - don%26#039;t base your opinions on the %26quot;success%26quot; of other people. If you get in the habit of that now, you%26#039;re only setting yourself up for defeat.
Your teacher is saying that you can%26#039;t let one single label define who you are as a person and what successes you%26#039;re capable of - if you%26#039;ve done your best, that%26#039;s all you can ask of yourself. If you let one label define who you are, you will only limit yourself to that one label because that%26#039;s all you think you can do.
If you%26#039;re limiting yourself to accepting a label, you%26#039;ll constantly be afraid to try because you%26#039;re afraid of failure and you%26#039;ll live your life in a circle of %26quot;what if%26#039;s?%26quot;|||i don%26#039;t see your problem
an 89% is good
just think of all the other people that your smarter than|||omg you got a B+...if i got a B+ i would think i was a failure too (sarcasm) if you got a B+ and you think it deserved a 100 then that%26#039;s all that maters|||The world is run by C students. Don%26#039;t be to harsh on yourself.|||Life is not perfect.|||should...would..blah blah. Is this a feasible reform?
The existence of a person who can write an essay better than you does not imply that your essay isn%26#039;t fine. Conversely, good marks do not necessarily imply good work.
Marks only last as long as school. Try to learn concrete skills. If you focus just on grades you will graduate with a pocket full of A%26#039;s and no marketable skills. Then you%26#039;ll really feel terrible.
On the other hand, your dilemma makes you an excellent candidate for a math major. It%26#039;s decided, you will be a math major.|||I have the same problem. There are lots of reasons a teacher can mark down an essay. Just remember, It%26#039;s the essay, not you. :)|||as a former teacher and student i can tell you the importance of school isnt in the grades its in the learning things . learning how to study , work and just the subjects . there isnt a direct correlation between grades and success. there are a lot of successful dropousts and c students and vice versa. do your best because its a good habit . when you want to start making money these skills will really help|||Look at it differently. A low grade means you just have more to learn. That simple, room for improvement.
I see a grade as a mark on the teacher%26#039;s ability to teach me. I know I do the best I can and if my grade is not up there the teacher failed, not me.|||I understand your problem as I am a young teacher at the university and I remember myself being a student not so long time ago.
So, my points are the following:
1) it is impossible to be perfect all the time. We are human beings, not Gods. So, it%26#039;s not that bad to make some mistakes from time to time and get 89% instead of 100%.
2) 89% is a very good result. Remember that when you have 100% you may start thinking you are the smartest and there is no use for you to continue studying well. 89% is an excellent way for developing your skills and your knowledge further on. It%26#039;s a good stimulus to study even harder than you do now.
3) To evaluate essays is a very difficult and subjective thing (I don%26#039;t mean correcting grammar mistakes, I mean the sense, contents of the essay). Your teacher might have disagreed to your opinion and gave you 89%, but another teacher could agree with you and you would have got 100%. It is very subjective and personal.
4) Do not be upset. I feel you are a great student. The wish to be perfect always makes a person nervous and causes stresses. Live in harmony. For example, you%26#039;ve got 89% and you are upset. Eat some chocolate or go to the hairdresser%26#039;s and make a new cool haircut, or tell all your friends and relatives you love them! After that you%26#039;ll start treating these 89% differently.
I%26#039;ve always been a perfectionist and have all my diplomas with excellent marks. Now that I%26#039;m an adult, I understand that studying is not the most important thing in life. It is necessary, of course. But LOVE, HEALTH, HARMONY AND GOOD RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS ARE MORE IMPORTANT. believe me!
5) Feel free to let yourself not be always perfect and your life will become more interesting and pleasant for you. GOOD LUCK!
